Today was an extraordinarily beautiful day to go to the park. There was a perfect mixture of sunshine and clouds as if they were playing peek-a-boo with the earth's surface. There was also a breeze, a light breeze, a breeze that seemed to wisp by consciously like it went from person to person and in passing simply said, "Chill out." I was having a very good day, that is, until I got my heart broken.
While I was sitting on a bench reading my book, I noticed two little legs position themselves directly in front of me as I was nearing the bottom of my current page. I peeked over the top of my book to discover it was an adorable little girl. She appeared to be about four or five years old, and as I said before, she was absolutely adorable, a real cutie pie. Without a second thought, I closed my book, set it on my lap, and began surveying the immediate area for a parent or older sibling. When I didn't see anyone in the vicinity actively searching or outright panicking, I asked the girl, "Who did you come to the park with?" As I asked this question, I noticed the melancholy gaze of her eyes and the manner in which she peered deeply into mine as if she were searching for something. Her gaze intensified as she stood before me visually asking me question after question. After what seemed like an interrogation, she finally settled on a question that was important enough to vocalize, or perhaps it was the only question that truly mattered to her, "Are you my daddy?"
I wasn't ready that question, how could I be? I thought to myself, "If only she had ask me something else, anything else, maybe I could have given her an answer." My heart fell to pieces and my vocal chords tightened as she peered deeper into my eyes searching for an answer I was too fearful to give.
I know I couldn't say yes, but I didn't want to tell her no as she just stood there, waiting. "Man...where is your mama," is what I was thinking, because I didn't have the heart to say anything. I always thought of children as a blessing and believed when two people were fortunate enough to have a child together, God had smiled down on them. Does this mean that God is in tears now? What drives a man to abandon his child? There is no excuse, no acceptable reason for a father...no I can't classify these men as fathers, let's just call them what they are, "dead-beats; there is no acceptable reason a dead-beat can justify the absence of his presence in the life of his child(ren). Unfortunately, this is an all too common tragedy that occurs everyday, as mothers are forced to play a dual role in the lives of their child(ren). There is a quote by a 19th century novelist named William Makepeace Thakeray that states, "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." What are we men, "rolling stones?" There are way too many dead-beats out there, but I also know that there are just as many good, responsible fathers out there who appreciate the gift they have been blessed with.
I only wish this adorable little girl's father recognized the blessing she is. I never did answer her question, and she didn't bother to ask again. She sat down on the bench beside me and asked, "Can you read me a story, please?" "Of course", I said, "I was just in the middle of Goldilocks and the Three Bears." She looked me straight in the face and said, "That's not what the book says." You can't sneak anything past kids nowadays, can you? Just as I was about to begin telling a story I haven't heard myself since I was a child, her mother walked over.
"Hi, I hope she hasn't been troubling you too much."
"Not at all, she was a sweetheart."
"That's great. I sent her over here for a time-out, I was right there with my son. I'm glad she didn't disturb you. Come on baby, it time to say goodbye to the nice man."
The little girl peered into my eyes one last time, perhaps she was still searching for something or maybe she had found it. The melancholy gaze which initially greeted me was gone, and her eyes seemed revitalized as grabbed her mother's hand, smiled, and waved goodbye.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
"The Future is Together"
Yesterday I was engaged in a very interesting conversation with a friend about race. We shared our veiws with one another regarding the current state of affairs associated with color-based discrimination, institutional racism, and systemic racism as we saw them. As our conversation intensified, it become more of a heated debate as we discussed the future of the social construct known as race. I have to admit, I had fun because she was just as firm on her position as I was regarding mine. While I would love to give her position regarding our debate, I don't believe I can give it justice, but I what I will do is give a rendition of my position.
What is it going to take for “Race” to cross the finish line? Since before conception, I’ve been running…I’ve been running a race against an opponent that has almost a 400 year head start, and because the ancestors of that opponent deemed my ancestors inferior, they were forced to run with shackles around their ankles. While the opponents of our ancestor’s were able to make great strides in their lives, our ancestor’s were limited in the amount of forward progression they would be able to make at a time. It’s been 391 years since the first enslaved African arrived in the United States, 145 years since the end of legalized slavery, and 45 years, I said only 45 years since Jim Crows laws were deemed unconstitutional. Now in 2010, as we stand at the starting line, we are without the same restraints that limited the forward progression of our ancestor’s, at least that’s the way it appears before the race begins. Indeed, the shackles placed around our ancestor’s ankles have been removed for some time now, but the invisible hand of injustice is still holding us back as we are desperately trying to catch up. Imagine if you will, stepping up to the starting line of a race and seeing that you stand there alone. As you look before you, you can barely make out what appears to be your opponent standing 400 yards in front of you. Can this be called a fair race? Okay, Lets say Affirmative Action allows you to begin at the same starting point as your opponent. The race begins, but you are pulled over because you look suspicious, you don’t get the job you applied for because your name sounds too ethnic, you don’t get the loan you applied for because you are perceived to have bad credit, your child scores poorly on standardize tests because the assessment is biased and favors students with a socio-cultural background, or you have the same job position, degree and experience as a counterpart yet you are paid 34.9% less. How much harder or faster must we run just catch up, how much harder or faster can we run? The baton is now in our hands, passed on from the generation before us, and like them, we will have a responsibility to keep running. But today, today is different, this is the race where we as a people cross the finish line triumphant.
I speak of course of racism, institutional and systemic racism. Racism, that is invisible on the surface, yet it has the ability, and it has, to make an entire people’s progress seem like it’s moving in slow motion. Black people are only 13% of the population, yet as a race, we are disproportionately mal-affected in every statistical category; unemployment, AIDS outbreaks, high school dropout rates, teen pregnancy, and incarceration, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Throughout history, we as a people have made great strides to better the country we love and hold it to its ideals of equality and freedom, but as the invisible hand of injustice threatens to restrict us from ever being completely equal with our white counterparts, we seem to be running a race against “race” itself. Socially constructed by whites to justify societal and legal norms, the categorization of races perpetuates racism. Categorizing people based on visual traits such as skin color, facial features, or hair texture is a tool by the majority populous to manage people, and to covey the message that although we are all humans, we are fundamentally different. We are a strong and compassionate people, but we cannot allow a perceived notion of inferiority by some dictate the course of our fate. We are Americans! We’re not asking you, we’re telling you that we are Americans, and as Americans, we desire “Equality” and “Justice”. These are the very foundations of what this country is supposed to be built. America is indeed a great country, I love it with all my heart, but honestly, it is only great by default. This country has the potential to be the greatest ever, but it will never reach the height of greatness as long as there is a race against “race.” Some of the very institutions that guide this country are historically rooted in racism. Once upon a time in American history, there was legalized racism. We as Americans, white, black, yellow, etc. have to be able to openly and honest open a dialogue about race. We need to cease the categorization of Americans by the color of their skin, this very act is racist. It perpetuates identifying people based solely on the physical characteristics of their ancestry, instead of the content of the character they possess, which increases negative stereotypes, race-based discrimination, and the injustice of American citizens by its own country. For America to reach the height of greatness, and continue to be great in generations to come, “race” must not a perpetuated indicator of the differences between Americans. We are one people, and the only way to the future is together.
What is it going to take for “Race” to cross the finish line? Since before conception, I’ve been running…I’ve been running a race against an opponent that has almost a 400 year head start, and because the ancestors of that opponent deemed my ancestors inferior, they were forced to run with shackles around their ankles. While the opponents of our ancestor’s were able to make great strides in their lives, our ancestor’s were limited in the amount of forward progression they would be able to make at a time. It’s been 391 years since the first enslaved African arrived in the United States, 145 years since the end of legalized slavery, and 45 years, I said only 45 years since Jim Crows laws were deemed unconstitutional. Now in 2010, as we stand at the starting line, we are without the same restraints that limited the forward progression of our ancestor’s, at least that’s the way it appears before the race begins. Indeed, the shackles placed around our ancestor’s ankles have been removed for some time now, but the invisible hand of injustice is still holding us back as we are desperately trying to catch up. Imagine if you will, stepping up to the starting line of a race and seeing that you stand there alone. As you look before you, you can barely make out what appears to be your opponent standing 400 yards in front of you. Can this be called a fair race? Okay, Lets say Affirmative Action allows you to begin at the same starting point as your opponent. The race begins, but you are pulled over because you look suspicious, you don’t get the job you applied for because your name sounds too ethnic, you don’t get the loan you applied for because you are perceived to have bad credit, your child scores poorly on standardize tests because the assessment is biased and favors students with a socio-cultural background, or you have the same job position, degree and experience as a counterpart yet you are paid 34.9% less. How much harder or faster must we run just catch up, how much harder or faster can we run? The baton is now in our hands, passed on from the generation before us, and like them, we will have a responsibility to keep running. But today, today is different, this is the race where we as a people cross the finish line triumphant.
I speak of course of racism, institutional and systemic racism. Racism, that is invisible on the surface, yet it has the ability, and it has, to make an entire people’s progress seem like it’s moving in slow motion. Black people are only 13% of the population, yet as a race, we are disproportionately mal-affected in every statistical category; unemployment, AIDS outbreaks, high school dropout rates, teen pregnancy, and incarceration, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Throughout history, we as a people have made great strides to better the country we love and hold it to its ideals of equality and freedom, but as the invisible hand of injustice threatens to restrict us from ever being completely equal with our white counterparts, we seem to be running a race against “race” itself. Socially constructed by whites to justify societal and legal norms, the categorization of races perpetuates racism. Categorizing people based on visual traits such as skin color, facial features, or hair texture is a tool by the majority populous to manage people, and to covey the message that although we are all humans, we are fundamentally different. We are a strong and compassionate people, but we cannot allow a perceived notion of inferiority by some dictate the course of our fate. We are Americans! We’re not asking you, we’re telling you that we are Americans, and as Americans, we desire “Equality” and “Justice”. These are the very foundations of what this country is supposed to be built. America is indeed a great country, I love it with all my heart, but honestly, it is only great by default. This country has the potential to be the greatest ever, but it will never reach the height of greatness as long as there is a race against “race.” Some of the very institutions that guide this country are historically rooted in racism. Once upon a time in American history, there was legalized racism. We as Americans, white, black, yellow, etc. have to be able to openly and honest open a dialogue about race. We need to cease the categorization of Americans by the color of their skin, this very act is racist. It perpetuates identifying people based solely on the physical characteristics of their ancestry, instead of the content of the character they possess, which increases negative stereotypes, race-based discrimination, and the injustice of American citizens by its own country. For America to reach the height of greatness, and continue to be great in generations to come, “race” must not a perpetuated indicator of the differences between Americans. We are one people, and the only way to the future is together.
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